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Silencing Shame
When we share our own stories of struggle, we give others permission to do the same

The Blog

February 14, 2024
Dearest Parent,

If you remember nothing else today, remember this.  You are a mother, a father, a being who is a source of protection, comfort and of inspiration. Yes you’ve made mistakes but you are only human. That’s what makes you so beautiful, so admirable. You have the capacity to think, and feel and to know. You […]

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December 22, 2023
Grief Hidden in Behaviour

Tis the ‘season to be jolly’ so it may seem a little unusual to want to bring up grief. In South Africa, Christmas collides with the end of the school year so in the midst of the festive fun, there are also many ‘goodbyes’. Sadness and grief are inevitable. My kids have had to face […]

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September 18, 2023
When Your Teen Talks Back

In the blink of an eye, my child had become a teen and instead of calling me 'mummy' she was, on this occasion, calling me a ‘hypocrite’. My hackles were up. My inner defence system had instantaneously sounded the alarm and I was getting ready to launch back. Then from somewhere in my subconscious, a […]

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May 28, 2023
Parenting with Body in Mind

Nothing can feel more urgent, desperate, and frustrating to a caregiver sometimes, than the total non-compliance of a child who refuses to... Select from the following: Nothing can unravel us faster than what appears to be a totally helpless or defiant response to a seemingly reasonable request especially when it comes at the end of […]

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March 7, 2023
Learning to Let Go... & enjoy!

In describing his 'one-step forward, two-steps back' potty-training saga with his son, a father recently described his entire task as a caregiver as one of 'learning to let go'. I've been reflecting on this as I've battled to loosen my grip on my expectations and hopes for this year. My mantra for 2023 was 'slow […]

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December 23, 2022
Generosity & Boundaries

It is probably up there with one of the hardest things I have ever done. The words, ‘I can’t do it’, stuck in my throat, grating raspingly, like a fish-bone lodged in my esophagus. (Apologies for the graphic analogy and to anyone having fish for their Christmas dinner.) I was sat with my pastor at the […]

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November 22, 2022
My Adoption Dream

Becoming a mother was a long awaited dream for me, and eventually, through adoption, my prayers were answered. Our beautiful boy filled our lives with joy, happiness and yes, utter madness and chaos. Strong willed, curious, animated and endearing. This little guy tested our boundaries to no end and parenting became increasingly challenging for me. […]

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October 31, 2022
Connection: Getting Back on Track

Connection. Both the simplicity of it and how hard it is to come by continue to both sadden and surprise me. The Circle speaks to its importance so clearly. For anyone who knows the Circle of Security, you’ll know that for our children to overcome their worries, test their limits and explore new solutions – […]

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September 17, 2022
Unmasking Shame

At the time, I was barely conscious of it but looking back it was certainly there. A shadowy presence that would suddenly appear looming over me and casting uncertainty over my very existence and already shaky sense of self. “You don’t matter”, I could hear it whisper. One of my earliest recollections of this voice […]

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August 19, 2022
The Giraffe in the Room

When talking about mum and dad with his Play Therapist, a boy was asked to choose a toy to represent each of his parents and himself. For dad, he chose a shark; for himself he chose a lion, and for mum he picked a giraffe which he positioned on the floor in between the shark […]

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